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PARIS DIARY
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PARIS OVERNIGHT
but i just can't stop taking another glimpse,

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Bon Jour, comment tut appelle? .welcome to iamnaru@blogspot.com;


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Sunday, June 06, 2004
6/06/2004 11:12:00 pm

IM WATCHING HARRY POTTER TML!!! YAY!! WHO WANNA GO?!! FASTER TELL ME!!!


6/06/2004 05:02:00 am

OMG.. its 5.02am.. and im still awake...
went to slp abt 11 plus plus yesterday den woke up at 2 am to wake cal kor up so he could do his FYP..
that PIG! it took me 22 minutes to wake him up.. oh my gawd!!!!!!! imagine.. i was stoning..
den keep listening to the stupid new ringing phone msg thingy of jie lun talking... --" it was like 30sec per call.. and i called him for 22 mins.. so it would be like 44 times taht i called.. juz to wake a PIG up.. --"

till when he finally wake up.. --" i was no longer able to go back to slp.. damn it...
den we spend the time until now.. chatting.. ranting lame jokes and doing stupid quizes.. --" can u believe it? i cant loh..

now my eyes can hardly keep open.. --" (ya.. thats what my face look like now..)

i juz realise also that my popularity rised 25% higher.. y so.. all the international students stay around tampines.. so i went to tampines today and said hi to abt 20 over china chinese students.. some i don even recognise.. --" oh damn it.. sigh.. y me?


anyway.. till tml~


~Blessed Be~


Saturday, June 05, 2004
6/05/2004 11:43:00 am

Damn tired.. yesterday conference with Cal, Scott, Pax, Louis and Debbie till dunno what time.. den i fell aslp on the fone.. --" really freging tired.. sigh.. NDP camp is going on now..

my heart got this sour sour feeling.. that won go away.. donno y i so camp gian also.. camp is so tiring, physically and mentally.. but still.. i love it so much.. freak lah..
it won change the fact that i still hate my parents for not letting me go.. ARGH.. there are other parents who would kill to get their kids involved in sch.. and my parents.. rather tie me down.. ....

sometimes i wonder where i get all my enthusiasm from...

~Merry Parting~


6/05/2004 12:52:00 am

sigh.. can my day get any worse..
just one more thing ms angela do.. and i'll quit Immersion Prog. all together..

first.. i reached sch.. den i saw 148 international students standing infront of me.. WTF?
den, i had only 8 helpers.. den the teachers were still in their offices doing last minute changes.. Damn it.. i really..

ok.. we managed to get them organised.. by that time.. it was 5 minutes to 6 already.. freak! got them ALL on the buses.. 6.30pm..

they were to be at the museum at 7pm.. coz the guided tours start at 7.. and the guides were all volunteers.. damn it.. i took a cab down with 3 chinese girls.. and we were still late.. sigh..

i reach the museum.. saw the helpers.. saw ms huziah.. and ms dorothy.. and i got scolded.. coz the guides were waiting.. I really dunno what to do.. den i called each grp (there were 5 grps all together) guess what... they were at mita building.. across the river of riverside point.. --" i tot like i was abt to die.. i felt so screwed..
i told ms angela.. take the bus to tampines mrt station, den make trips down to clarke quay mrt.. it was closer.. she said.. 'its too complex, this route faster.. and less complicated' SCREW U.. bring them to wrong place.. n i had so many people to answer to.. juz coz u refuse to listen.. i maybe just 19.. but at least i planned the whole bloody thing... sigh.. i really..

spend the whole day apologizing to people.. and feeling bad.. i really felt bad.. felt bad for the volunteers for waiting.. for ms huziah and ms dorothy.. for having to apologize to the volunteers as well, for the international students for getting misled.. for the student leaders volunteering.. going to the wrong place for nothing, getting nasty looks from the students.. and also.. most importantly, to verene and zarina's grp.. they got so lost.. they were at raffles city.. by the time they reached.. we finished everything.. and they had to go home.. I really felt like crying.. it was a complete disaster..

but still.. i debriefed them.. apologize summore.. and apologize and apologize.. i really.. din know what else to do...

sigh.. i really hope.. that.. Ms Angela will stay OUT of my games day.. she better.. if not.. i will turn butch and screw her upside down...
coz.. im tired.. mentally, physically and emotionally.. i bloody hell don wanna get everything i planned and prepared nicely to get screwed up again..

sigh.. so much spitefulness..

~Blessed Be~


Friday, June 04, 2004
6/04/2004 01:09:00 pm

Argghh... I dunno what to do.. 300million things are going on in my mind now.. and i still cant figure out... So lil time.. and so many things i want/need to do.. and.. im just doing nothing now.. when i can be doing something productive.. im ready for work but there is just nothing to do..

THe Immersion Prog. is not getting any better for me.. I hate Ms Boey I tell u.. she is so bloody unorganised.. and she just wanna screw everything i planned for her to help her.. 'I leave it to u Melanie' SCREW U.. leave it to me den u won go rearranging my plans.. EEEEKKKK.. i just wanna scream at her.... but den.. i dunno... she like also very poor thing.. sigh.. Im at a lost..

den there is NDP.. sigh.. i so wanna do this.. really really really really x 10000 million times wanna sign up for what karin offered me.. (thanks babe) but i feel so tied down to my family.. i just wanna get out of here.. i have dreams i wanna fulfil too.. GAWD DAMMIT... I really.. My family is like a mad house.. and plus my brother.. it just gets more chaotic in here...

How can 1 person consider so many things at the same time? How to live up to my parents expectations and still go on with what i wanna do? I dun understand y after so many years of enduring my parents complex lifestyle/family style/their almost loveless marriage.. they still wanna tie me down with my brother..? When can I be free? when im 48?

I'm so tired of them... I'm like the nanny/maid/daughter/father( when my mum's not around)/mother (when my father's not around)/big sister (to my brother)/ baby (to my parents)/adult/child/consultant/adviser.. everything... the pressure.. i really... dunno how to explain...

people try to fit in.. to hang out with friends... they can achieve it so easily..
I try to fit in.. but i work 4 times harder.. to get results less then half of what other people can achieve...
so difficult to explain to my friends/group mates/ brothers/sisters.. why my family is like that.. why i still have a bloody strict curfew when im already 19.. why i can only go for 1 chalet in a month? why i still listen to my parents so much? why am i like a trained dog? why i cant work on week nights? why staying over at my friends house have to be like wanting to seek approval to migrate to australia? why talking to a guy as a friend is like almost getting engaged to him? why my mother is like the way she is.. which almost all my friends learn to hate..? and why sometimes i hate her too..

i dunno y.. im so drainned.. so tired.. so upset.. but would telling them work? have i not tried? for the past 19 years? if i haven tried.. would i submit to their bidding? i tried so hard.. till there is nothing else i can do.. but just listen.. and be good..

i dunno any more.. i dunno how to continue.. i really dunno...

maybe oneday..

~Farewell~


Thursday, June 03, 2004
6/03/2004 04:00:00 pm

have i ever told u both my brothers were idiots?

most probably not..

let me emphasize again!! THEY ARE COMPLETE IDIOTS!!!

let me tell u y

marcus.. seem to have disappeared from the face of this earth already.. i wonder where he went.. most probably the black hole swallowed him up.. and i don think i really care.. idiot!! the next time i see him.. i'm gonna shove a whole MRT up his arse... he just wait..


cal... idiot no.2 brought me to watch 'The day after Tomorrow' and it was totally, incredibly, extremely, overly moanful.. like.. OMG.. i dunno when did i start or stop crying.. but i don think there were rest periods for my eyes.. totally.. SAD~!! OMG!!!

anyway.. thanks bro.. ur the best.. haha.. since idiot no. 1 disappeared.. --"


~Blessed Be~


Wednesday, June 02, 2004
6/02/2004 07:54:00 pm

Very touching and meaningful story. A Diary ** from a guy..
Love is juz so.. fragile.. and Life so unpredictable..


*January 2*

Do you still remember the first time we met? It was the first day in school. I was hurriedly entering the school gate when I bumped into you as you stepped out of a luxurious Volvo. The books you were holding fell all over the ground. I quickly picked up the books and returned them to you along with words of apology, but all you showed me was your intimidating look. My first impression of you was thatyou were a wilful girl born with a golden spoon in the mouth. I had rejected you completely and had hoped not to meet you again, but surprisingly you turned out to be my classmate.

*March 22*

I started to know more about you as days passed and my opinion of you changed for the better on each passing day. I realised that you were from a wealthy family but definitely not a wilful girl. You were nice and friendly. You got angry that day we first met because I had left a footprint marking on the poetry collection you loved dearly. We met often during lunch break and I found something in you that was different from the rest of the girls - your passion for Chinese poetry. Often you would mumble something to yourself. Initially, I thought that you were humming a pop song but
later I realised that you had been reciting Chinese poems from great poets. You were so knowledgeable that you knew every poet and which poems they composed. I was very impressed indeed.


*April 5*

I met you again in the study area. That day you were reading the Chinese classics "Romance of the 3 kingdom". Your ability to appreciate Chinese classics left me with admiration. You were indeed unique in many ways.


*May 5*

From then on, we would often meet in the study area to discuss about the good and bad things of the character in these Chinese classics. Do you still remember the time when we almost broke off because we could not agree on whether Jia BaoYu hurt Lin Dai Yu? Our argument was so fierce that we never talked for that week. But when Friday came, we still met in the study area and laughed over the incident. After which, another argument started.


*Aug 7*

I could not deny it. It was a feeling I could not identify accurately. Wenever you laughed over a joke with other guys, that emotion filled my senses. It took me a while before identified it. I was in love; the feeling was jealousy. I felt the need to express it. But, I was afraid...that you would dismiss my feeling, that you and I would be stuck in an embarrassing situation, that our long nurtured friendship would crumble...therefore, I kept quiet.


*Oct 1*

The news came as a shock to me. I was so worried when I learnt that you had fainted in the canteen. I was struggling to keep my worried face in control as I looked at the ambulance that carried you away.


*Oct 2*

It was drizzling that day. Our form teacher sadly announced that you had got cancer. As she finished her last sentence, outside the classroom, it seemed to me that the drizzle had turned into a downpour. I could only hear the sound of the rain, nothing more. I rushed to NUH ICU to see you immediately after lesson. Your face was whitish in colour, showing no trace of red. I learnt that you had just undergone an operation. The life-support system was just beside you with tubes piercing mercilessly into your left wrist. "I am all right, it is just a serious case of anemia. Believe me, my parents told me that". you said convincingly. I knew fully well what you were thinking, you did not want me to be worried. "Are you comforting yourself or comforting the fears and hopelessness that was written all over my face?", I thought to myself. I was not strong enough to disagree with you and I nodded my head with a forced smile. You responded with a smile too-with great effort.


*Oct 5*

It was a ordinary day but to me, it was an important day. I felt an impulse to express my love. I walked over to the side of your bed, holding your hand. I told you the story of how an ordinary guy fell in love with a girl who likes poetry and Chinese classics. As I told my story, my eyes started to flood with water, and uncontrollably my voice started to choke, and finally I broke into tear But you held my head against your body and with watery eyes, said: "I understand such a love, so did the girl." I returned my eyes to her and at that moment, her tears dropped, and for the first time, I saw some redness on her lips.


*Oct 26*

It was the last day of examination and I rushed to NUH to continue my story. When I reached there, I only saw the nurse arranging the bed you once slept on. When I asked about you, the nurse told me expressionlessly that you had passed away. It was a bolt from the blue for me. I stood motionless for a long time. I hated myself for spending the last few days preparing for the last examination paper. I hated myself for not staying longer the last time I visited you. I hated myself so much...but you were gone...... I can't remember how I got home that day. When I woke up, I was already in my room. The pillow I slept on was wet. The next day, I went for the funeral. I heard from your father that on the day you passed away, you were still reading the Poetry collection I gave you as a gift for your birthday. Standing in front of Your portrait, I had no tears, they were used up on the day of your death. All I knew was sadness, my heart was like shattered into pieces and died.


*Jan 2*

A new girl has taken over your seat. She does not like poetry, but she likes to hum pop songs. When I asked her if she knows Jia Bao Yu, she replied: "What talking you." Yes, you were gone. But to me, the seat is still unoccupied, and maybe no one will ever occupy it......


6/02/2004 05:42:00 pm

3 blogs in a day?? OMG.. haha..

okok.. went out with ayn.. i din realise i missed her so much.. we both grew up.. like really alot.. all these while.. we were like the forever 'true love prevails' people.. but this time.. when i see her.. i seen how much we both have went thru.. though without each other.. but still.. is alot.. i could feel her pain.. as she told me how much she has submitted for true love.. i felt like i was looking at myself.. or the me a few weeks ago..

but still we took some really cute fotos.. like i said.. i love fotos.. and of coz.. she loves taking fotos too.. haha.. we are sisters anyway..

tommorrow is Reporting Day for the Immersion Program.. IM SO EXCITED!!! haha.. I really cant wait.. hope it would be a success.. though i really don like to give the speech.. but oh well, thanks to mervin.. *rolls eyes* wth... ok.. i gotta go now.. cya all..


~Blessed Be~


6/02/2004 01:07:00 pm

ok.. time for my confession..
i went to watch Confession of a Teenage Drama Queen and that was how i got my blog skin idea..

it was a good moive.. in fact..

IT IS A GREAT MOVIE!!!

coz i felt like i was watching myself.. or rather.. a fat, uglier more unglam version of myself.. but its okay.. not everyone is made perfect in everyway... I loved every part of it.. especially the part when Lola dressed up to almost every theme there was in the world.. At the start, she dressed up like audrey hepbun in her award winning movie 'diamonds are women's best friend, den she dressed up like a hippie from the 60s, and then as a princess from the 17th century.. totally cool.. i was like totally ballistic over the song 'that girl' -- lindsay lohan..

I tell u... Lindsay.. she is like a drama goddess... totally... awesome.. i take my hat off to her (thats if i have a hat to take off..) she is absolutely gorgeous, and totally into character.. totally..

so.. yep go watch it if u have the time.. its really cool..

following this movie, here are my list of 'must watch this month'
1. Harry Potter (its opening tml.. OMG OMG OMG!!)
2. Ella Enchanted (Anna Hatheway, from Princess Diaries, Mia)
3. Mean Girls (also by Lindsay Lohan)
4. Star Wars (OMG OMG.. Skywalker!!*drools*)

yep.. oh.. btw.. im at dome parkmall.. they got great coffeeeeeee... and COOKIES... cookies... hmm.. yea.. and alot of nice nice stuff... so come lah... visit me and sue here.. (that's if, if u all know who sue is.. :oPpPpP~)


and oh.. y am i here? coz im waiting my friend, ex-classmate, good friend, ayn to reach town so i can meet her... haven seen her in agess... haha.. low budget meeting.. coz both of us are broke.. *laugh laughs snort*

btw, kor ah.. its 1.15 le.. still slp.. really pig loh.. eat slp eat slp.. whatelse do u noe? dot~

so yep.. blog bit lata~~~


~Blessed Be, Farewell, And Gentle Breezes~


Tuesday, June 01, 2004
6/01/2004 06:53:00 pm

YAY!!! LOOKIE AT MY BLOG SKIN??

I LOVE IT SO MUCH I COULD JUST MARRY IT..

EVERYTHING CREATED BY ME...

im so proud of myself, i could just... float away... into the crimson sky...

THis is the most wonderful day of this year.. don u think so?

Don't u see glowing light.. (or is it just my lights flickering) Don't you feel the difference in the atmosphere (maybe its coz it rained all day, compared to the usual heat wave)Whatever it is.. Im in love...

In love...

Deeply Madly In love...






WITH MY BLOG~~!!


Oh My God.. I can just die of happiness.. its so.... unique... so me... so... I LOVE IT!!!


btw, marcus: i dunno what to say abt you le... you disappear totally... Den got problems don come and find me anymore... sigh.. up to u ba.... at least sue and i catching up... Cal and I always siao siao.. msg each other jus 'hi jie/kor' den 'hahaha' den nothing else to say le.. but at least we say something... u leh?
'Jie ah.. I call u back later... --" Later during christmas? --" Dotz... Don forget.. Harry Potter.. Dua me, u die... U wan Lamp post, MRT, Westin Hotel up ur arse? Dua me loh... U try...

Anyway, I MISS U ALOT TOO... OH.. BTW, HAVE U SEEN MY BLOG? Isnt it nice??? (u better say it is) its nice right? I think so too.. haha...


~Blessed Be~