Personally I'm a indoorsy person.. but I cannot do without sunlight at the same time.

I particularly cannot stand being in a tunnel, that has no cracks for sunlight. It drives me insane. I'm fine if Cal drives at 70, and just woosh through the tunnel in 50 seconds, but being stuck in a jam is a completely different issue.

On my way back from my GRC's decentralized A.C.T.I.V.E Day, the bus was travelling from CTE. If you don't know which one is CTE, just think of the one with the really long tunnel that sends u out towards Cairnhill.

As the trip back was about 6ish, which in Singapore terms is (excuse my french) 'Jam ah.. sibei jam ah', the bus was painfully held up in the tunnel for close to 30mins.

In my head, I could vividly see myself trashing in my uncomfortable bus seat.. In reality I fidgeted relentessly as I waited for the bus bring me to the nearest crack of dusk-light.

To keep my mind off this mental torture, I busied myself by methophoring this situ with my current job at PA.

I'm no admin whiz, I'm not extremely organized, I cannot multi-manage a matrix of bosses with different demands, and stakeholders that stick around like a bloodstain on a white skirt.

I know I am a F&B-inclined personnel through and true. I enjoy dealing with difficult customers with enthusiasm daily, providing excellent excellent service, working in a team to provide dynamic service as an individual.

I do not like followups that takes weeks or months, plan for events with 15 other stakeholders and push them to follow up.

I do not like reporting to multiple people over the same project. I do not like volunteers because they backstab worse than your regular backbitchers.

I do not like puting people on hold because I have to serve someone else, it breaks the service connection, the mystic. I'm fine if table 10 needs a glass of water, a plate of fois gras if while I'm serving table 3, but I'm not fine if I'm serving a resident, and a grassroot cuts me in mid conversation just because he is a community leader.

I HATE when community leader say 'You are a paid staff, I'm not'. Bloody bastards, so does it make me less human?

But the number 1 reason why I hate this job is because, it takes a toll on your social life. Once your mobile no. is programmed into their phones, you will be on call 24/7. Whether its your offday, birthday, MC, PH, AL, it is still work day to them, because? 'you are the paid staff, I'm not.'

Which brings me back to the tunnel, my career in PA is that tunnel of silent agony, and I'm waiting for the tunnel to end, I'm still waiting for it to end. And everyday that I'm at this job, I'm trashing at my workdesk. With much effort, trying not to claw the walls to find a crack of opportunity.

Sigh.. Mentally exhaustion is minor for me? Afterall, I once work at a redemption centre that service 1000 customers a day. Physically exhaustion is also child's play, I interned as a standing lounge hostess, 8 hrs a day, 6 days a week, 5pm - 1am for 6 months. But I can't, I really cant do this job any longer.

I'm dying, I was waiting for something to happen. But now, I deciding I wanna stop waiting. 14months is long enough. I'm going to look for that crack and trace it till the end of the tunnel, or die trying!

*Brace Brace Brace*